


Definitely Not What's Happening

by Ghost_Captain



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Pre-Sburb/Sgrub, Self-Indulgent, dave and rose pesterlog convo, this is just gay man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-25 22:51:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20919941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Captain/pseuds/Ghost_Captain
Summary: In which Dave confides in Rose about his impending gayness for his best friend John Egbert.this is so self indulgent and isn't really special but I thought I should post it because I had it and need to post here. It's cute tho.





	Definitely Not What's Happening

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy dave being a flustered asshole. i know i did.

That's definitely not what's happening. You thought, pacing the room and expertly avoiding cords and the like, strewn about the floor. You had walked this floor time after time, you knew how to keep yourself from tripping over your own things. Even in a crisis like this. 

TT: That's exactly what's happening.

The ping from your computer made you look up to see the lavender coloured letters across your screen in the pesterchum window. That's just like her. Of course she would. You're sure she's wrong and just trying to play therapist again like she always does.

But she's normally never wrong when it comes to this kind of stuff. 

Shit. 

You cease your pacing and return to your computer, clicking on the bar to type and frowning ever so slightly. 

TG: but like  
TG: i cant be gay dude thats just out of the blue  


TT: Are you sure? Did you have any feelings about this prior to your little outburst you’ve decided to unleash upon me unwarranted?  


TG: alright that sounded passive aggressive  
TG: i needed this shit off my chest alright and i dont think jade would have been much help  
TG: and for obvious reasons i cant talk to egbert about it  
TG: that would have gotten fucking weird real damn fast  
TG: hey john ive been having weird gay feelings and i think its about you can you help me through this trying time im struggling with  
TG: anyway to answer your question i dont fucking know  
TG: maybe i looked at a cucumber longingly once and didnt understand what i was doing but deep down i was imagining it as a dick  
TG: but like fucked if i know dude  
TG: fucked by a dick i guess  


TT: Yet you call me long winded.  
TT: Could the feelings be only directed toward John or is it a general thing? You could not be just gay if so.  


TG: i have no idea ive not even thought of anyone else that way  
TG: granted i have barely fucking met anyone aside from you three  
TG: or talked to them for an extended period of time  


TT: Well there is something you could go off of. Considering he’s the only other male here though and you have two female friends that are also viable. You might just be gay.  


TG: god fucking damn it

You take a moment to lean back in your computer chair and push your hands over your face. Letting out a long groan. It’s not like the whole gay thing was bad. It was the whole being gay for your best fucking friend is bad. You need to process this full realization. 

How the fuck are you gonna deal with this knowledge of yourself? You’re sure John definitely isn’t gay. Especially not for you. You two are bros. You’re in the friendzone and to be totally honest you’re fine with staying there. Mostly because this forbidden info you and Rose now hold cannot be released to the public. Or the single male friend you have. A few more notifications ping on your computer but you choose to ignore them for a bit longer to take a long gay breath. God you’re gay and it’s been totally under your nose this whole time. Your homosexual nose. 

Maybe you’re not gay. Maybe you’re in between. You find some women hot, you suppose. Mostly ones you see occasionally on the internet and tv. But it’s not how much you guess most young boys actually find them hot. 

You pull your hands off your face and adjust the shades that you totally don’t wear for both sentimental and gay purpouses from your best friend crush and pull yourself back to look at your computer screen. Your eyes take a second to adjust as they were just being slightly pressed shut before you read the next few messages from Rose.

TT: I understand this may be a very large revelation for you and your cool guy nature. But I assure you it’s normal and completely fine if you feel that way.  
TT: I am assuming you’re taking a moment to take this all in.  
TT: If it makes you feel any better I have the inclination toward more feminine presentation myself.  


TG: okay i think im like vaguely cool now  
TG: like if i were an apple thrown into the snow and then picked up two minutes later and placed inside thats how cool i would be  
TG: are you trying to relate to my struggle because as much as i appreciate it youre not in love with your best friend  


TT: Oh, so you admit to being in love with John?

God fucking damn it that one just kinda spilled out.

TG: i  
TG: fuck  
TG: am i in love with john  
TG: god thats really fucking weird to say  
TG: like i dont know if i should say in love at 13 dude thats weird  
TG: lets just leave it at major crush  


TT: Alright so we have established you have a major crush on our friend John and that you are at the very least partially homosexual.  
TT: Am I missing any crucial information?  


TG: no i think you summed up whatever kind of conversation we just fucking had was  


TT: Are you planning on ever confessing to him?  


TG: fuck no  
TG: oh my god no  
TG: like jesus christ if there was any other more intense way to say no than a regular no i would be screaming that from the top of the apartment building right now  
TG: i mean also if bro wouldnt come kick my ass if i did that but thats besides the point here  
TG: that would ruin like  
TG: every goddamn thing  


TT: How so? What if he feels the same way?  
TT: I am sure if you two talk about it you’ll get rid of all those terrible pent up feelings you are undoubtedly feeling right now.  


TG: im sure if we talk about it john is going to think im so fucking weird and never want to talk to me again  
TG: and then id lose my best bro and shit would be miserable for me  
TG: so i refuse to tell him about this  
TG: you better lay off telling him too  


TT: Of course; our chats like these are strictly confidential.  
TT: I won’t breathe this to another soul.  


TG: now if youll excuse me i have to go quietly scream into my pillow like an 11 year old girl from seeing a boyband  
TG: that was gay wasnt it  
TG: scratch that  
TG: im just gonna go think about my feelings for a bit like some kind of deep thinker person

\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]\--

You lean back in your chair yet again, a decently loud heavy sigh escaping your mouth as the chair creaked under your weight.

This is going to be hell.


End file.
